Monday, November 07, 2005

Average Jo-se

One thing we Charlton fans can celebrate is that we have as good a record in our last five games as Chelsea do - one win in five matches!

Of course, Mr Mourinho doesn't see it quite that way:

The 1-1 draw with Everton was actually a 2-1 win, who cares that the lino flagged Drogba offside? Not our Jose!

The penalty shoot out Carling Cup defeat to Charlton? Didn't count as we couldn't beat them on the field of play apparently. Penalties don't matter. Jose may still be thinking that his side will be the ones facing Blackburn on 30th November. We could even have one of those embarrassing situations that used to arrive every ten years or so when I played cricket - three teams turn up. In those cases, it was always the home side that forfeited the chance to play and gave the traveling opposition an opportunity to match up with each other. Fans attending The Valley later in the month therefore may get a chance to watch Chelsea play Blackburn...

Blackburn match? The published score was 4-2 to Chelsea but nut Jose said it was his team that were apparently responsible for and scored all the goals, so that means we should all recognise the 6-0 true scoreline...

Champions League time and Chelsea slip to a 1-0 defeat in Seville against Real Betis. We all saw who were the better team didn't we, and cannot argue with young Jo - the ones that the engraver has been practicing writing on the trophy ready for next May...Yes? No...oh. Just a slip, doesn't matter. Crespo refusing to travel and play as sub? No, he's injured...Chelsea will still qualify for the knock out stage says Jose.

Yesterday, the biggest match of the season so far for Roman's Blues, and they blew it! Another defeat. This time to Manchester United. Consecutive losses. Blanks being fired all over the place. Call for Hernan? Nope. Still throwing a hissy-fit. Ex-Addick loser Carlton Cole trundles onto the pitch for the last twelve minutes; his only worthwhile contribution heading a corner away from his own goal. Jose says that they (Chelsea) were the best team and deserved to win. And they will win the league anyhow...

Chelsea have conceded goals in their past six matches; this, from a side that had the best defensive record in a Premiership season ever last year. Where is the guy who played alongside John Terry in most of those games - Ricardo Carvallho? Oh, he got the hump about not being picked early in the season, because Jose played William Gallas in the middle instead, after he got the hump about playing at left back every week!

Sometimes us fans wonder what games the media watch - we can see the reality, yet reports only concentrate on single issues that bear no relation to the whole game. Jose suffers from this problem in every match. If he was as humble and graceful as Curbishley (for instance) in victory and defeat then football fans across the country would have a little bit of respect for him.

Cracks are starting to appear at the Bridge...players are openly flouting the main man, while still picking up huge fat wage-cheques each week. The problems are there for all to see, but...

As it stands Jose, you are just fooling yourself, and nobody else. And the whole of the country is laughing at you!

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